Face facts: You probably have a lot of people on Facebook that you don't interact with. If you don't interact with them, why do you remain "friends"? Does Facebook hold relationships in stasis?
You're probably most likely reading this because of a link that I posted (automatically) on Facebook. If so, congratulations - you made the cut. Yesterday morning I shortened my friends list on Facebook by more than half; from about 150 to less than 75. I culled, and I culled hard. My guiding rule was that if you are not family and I haven't spoken to you (outside of a work environment) in the last 6-12 months then you're out. And I feel lighter for it.
My interest in Facebook was already waning, and especially since I did a month without media at all. I've stated before that the only useful features of Facebook now are messaging and events. In fact, with the Facebook Messenger app and integration of Facebook events with my regular calendar app, I pretty much have no need for Facebook's news feed and no desire to check it, except if I'm bored, procrastinating or looking for something to do that doesn't require much thinking or effort. Hypothetically then, if I've dramatically reduced the number of potential sources that populate my news feed, and if those who are left are the contacts that I value most, shouldn't the outcome be a news feed that I am more interested and engaged with? Maybe, but this doesn't take into account whether the stuff that people post is interesting. I guess I'll have to wait and see.
One element that I dislike about Facebook is that it preserves relationships in some sort of cryogenic stasis. To me, relationships are organic. They are created and sustained by mutual interaction, sometimes they bloom into something bigger that can be sustained over a long period of time, but sometimes they don't, and sometimes they fade. There's nothing inherently good or bad about any of this, but Facebook doesn't allow much for relationships to fade. If you've known someone, anyone, at some point in your life, you can be branded as "friends" by Facebook. Maybe you were at some point, maybe you weren't. But that distinction isn't really separated by Facebook. Being branded as "friends" conjures up a lot of connotations, whether intentionally or not, and this makes it a very hard decision (in the sense of being both difficult and cold) to "unfriend" someone. I visualise the concept of unfriending someone online as the digital equivalent of your primary school self saying "You're not my friend anymore" in the playground - that it is a very hurtful thing to do to another person. Only it shouldn't be. Some relationships dissolve over time - people change and shared interests and situations fall away. And that's okay, in real life and online. But I'd prefer not to be psychologically held hostage and compelled to remain attached to people when I haven't maintained a relationship with them in reality. I'd bet that Facebook would never introduce a feature that reflects your actual social network; one that would automatically unfriend people based on how much interaction you have with them.
And yet, there's some part of me that is afraid of missing out. Afraid that by not using technology to keep in touch with people or to expand my social circle, that I'm missing out on opportunities to refresh those connections or be able to take advantage of them (you know, the I-know-a-guy situation). Unfortunately, this appears to be the cost of a bit more privacy and a bit less inanity.
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